just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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