If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You have to summon your inner elephant
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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