Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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