Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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