He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
