I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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