you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
