is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
