Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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