I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
