Joe is yelling at the trees again.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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