I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize