I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
