I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
