we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
