I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
