My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
