If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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