Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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