would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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