almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
