Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
