We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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