Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
you never un-have a 4some
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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