glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
