never play flip cup with pint glasses
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
