p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
