would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We're using joints as your birthday candles
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
