just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Houston, we have a blender
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think your dad took our porno
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
