Soap is not a condiment
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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