her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
