I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
