It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize