this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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