Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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