I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
