i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
