Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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