the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my being single is dangerous.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize