Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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