you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
it glows. i had to have it.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
