She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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