Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
