The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
