Fuck appropriateness.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I have tasted many bathrooms
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
