I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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