Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
