Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
