Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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