Define "chronic" masturbator.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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