you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
