at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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