When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize