Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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