Life is so much better after having sex.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
