Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
