Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
