you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
