Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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