dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
