seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
