I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
