Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize