I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
