I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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